Friday, June 29, 2018

Day 2. Unchangeable.

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Day 2

One of the most important moments in life is the moment you finally find the courage to let go of what can’t be changed.  Because when you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself—to grow beyond the unchangeable.  And that changes everything. What’s one unchangeable reality you’ve been resisting recently?  What can you do right now to ease your mind into the acceptance of this reality?

   I was notified a few weeks ago, that the Social Security Disability Check I receive, will be reduced by $300.  Yep. I was one of the lucky ones of the people I new that received $800 a month to survive on.  I heard a comment that 'what the hell are you bitching about, you're married'.   And.... I pay my own bills, my credit card, I pay for the internet and the TV and the cell phone. I buy all of the household products ( soap, laundry, bleach, shampoo, deodorant and little essentials. I spend (spent) $200 a month on all of those and spending money. 

So, this is the situation I cannot change. BUT... I don't have much of a choice. I have an upcoming lung exam and in August, I will be having my knee replaced. After that, everything changes. I am hoping I will be able to find a decent job doing whatever, until I can  feel okay again.  I have realized that I am stuck with trying to deal with $500 per month until then.     This morning I realized that there have been many many times in my life time that my life didn't go as I had hoped. Divorce, job loss, relocation of my life, divorce, inability to stand or lift anymore, job loss.... I could go on, but I won't. 

This morning, like every single time I have faced what seemed to be the end of my world, the Lord was leading me to a direction He wants me to go. I realized this was just going to be another learning experience for me. And that I am going to just do what I can , with His guidance, and follow His lead. He hasn't lead me wrong yet.    IF... you are a prayer, I ask that you would mention my name in your prayers , and just ask that I remember every day, that this is a place that He is leading.  I'm sure a few thousand tears will be shed even in lieu of the realization that I am being led. I'm still human. Thank you.      

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