Thursday, November 19, 2015

Don't Just Survive...

One of my biggest beliefs is that we’re all created and placed on this earth for a purpose. That purpose is deeply engrained in us and, if we allow ourselves to listen to it, it’s what drives us forward. It tells us what our passions are - what we like doing and don’t like doing - and we don’t have to apologize for it, because it’s a fundamental part of who we are.
It’s what fuels our daydreams and it’s the whisper in the back of our minds that tells us we’ll be disappointed in ourselves if we’re working the same job and following the same unexciting path one year from now.
Yes, it’s the same voice that throws caution to the wind all in the name of passion, but it prefers passionate hardships over easy-to-manage, stagnant doldrums.
It doesn’t care that we’re human beings and creatures of habit. It just leads us to live life the way it’s meant to be lived: happily and passionately. It’s greatest fear is that we’ll rob ourselves of our hearts deepest desires that have been placed there by God himself.
I don’t just like this belief because it’s an easy excuse for me to do what I want. I like it because, even if it makes my life harder at times, my life is much more colorful and bright than it would be if I followed society’s cookie-cutter plan for a woman my age.
Discovering this drive isn’t hard.
What are your daydreams about? What do you wish you could change about your job or your current life situation? Where do you wish you had more freedom or control?
Asking these questions, if they don’t blatantly give you the answer, will at least give you hints of what this desire inside you is.
Take time to find your own divine purpose.
If you answered the above questions and still only have clues about your life’s deepest desire, take time to pray about it. Set aside a few hours, go to your favorite quite place, your prayer room, or war  room,  bring a hot drink and just sit and let your imagination run wild.
Don’t let the expectations of your family, friends or society get in your way. This can be the biggest burden, especially since there are expectations on us. It will be one of the single most freeing, liberating, and empowering things you experience.
And here’s some truth you’ll discover: you don’t have to be married by your mid-twenties, you’re not stubborn or selfish if you don’t want children, and if the idea of spending years climbing the corporate ladder makes you cringe, you don’t have to do it.
Make it happen.
This is easier said than done.
I was in a unique position. I had a great job that I actually LOVED going to every day. Not an office, not something with prestige, I wore black and white, and a HAT!! Then, I was fired. 33 years on the job, and the corporate ppl decided, I was no longer worthy. I went from a baker at a country club, to a ‘grunt’, doing dishwashing and salad prep. But still, I had my work and health insurance. Is this what it all came down to?
I also knew that my misery in work would also leak over into my personal life, so it was better to take the risk. Taking a risk, was in fact less risky for my own emotional and mental health.
All I had to do was take a deep breath, think to myself “ok, here it goes” and just do it.
I don’t ‘prescribe this’ for ANYONE, but I met someone and we moved to CA. Never  really a dream, Key West with a best friend was my dream, but… it was an adventure I will never forget, and although things didn’t pan out as expected, I did  it!!
Push through with your will to thrive.
Undoubtedly, the hardest part of saying yes to your dreams and no to whatever you have now is taking the first step away from whatever it is that’s holding you back.
 But even once you’ve said farewell to the old and hello to the new, it doesn’t mean your battle is over. You’ve still got to work towards what you want. After all, in the words of Cage the Elephant, “Ain’t nothing in this world for free” - even freedom.
Now that I am not working working, I work 24/7. I carry a notebook all the time. I carry a camera, or my phone with me to capture the inspiration that may have lead me to write about something. My past hurts are healing. But I don’t want them to go away totally. I want to remember each pain. Each way of dealing with the pain. Each way that I have grown.
You won’t see me as a baker these day. I hope you will see me as an author within the next 3 to 5 years. See, I can sit down and write 4 or 5 pages each day, but usually when I reread what I have written , by the end of the day, I have deleted 79% only to start the next day, rethinking, rewriting, reimagining. Okay, that book my take 6 years ;)
Still working on that ‘pen name’ too. I don’t want to embarrass my family, or get called out by someone who may notice themselves!!  I’m thinking… Anastasia !! or not. Xoxo

11/19/2015 2:21 PM

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