Tuesday, July 15, 2014

                From this moment…

                While I was out running errands today I popped in my Shania CD. I haven’t listened to that CD in years. From this moment came on. Did you ever have “that moment”? Yeah, me too. In “that moment” the world looks so beautiful. You are full of hope and love and trust. In “that moment”, you just know that you have been blessed with the ‘right’ person. “That moment” seems to hold everything you ever dreamed of and hoped for in a person. Does it seem unfair that “that moment” too soon becomes just a memory? Something that you once held so dear, so close and with so much life that you thought it could never fade away. I was at a stop light, and actually pulled into the post office parking lot and started the song all over again. And, again.

                You're the reason I believe in love     And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us       My dreams came true because of you   
Dreams coming true, an answer to prayer…The reason I believe in love. “That moment”. When does it fade? When does all that hope and joy and love fizzle? It fades when things are brought to the surface. It fades when trust is broken, over and over again. BUT, they were ‘the reason’, the ‘answer to prayers’, the reason dreams came true. Therein lies the reason that you no longer ‘believe in love’, or your dreams, no longer, are coming true.

                Then there was the lyric : From this moment I have been blessed   I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath    From this moment on
   You really don’t feel ‘blessed’ and when you know with all of your heart and soul, that you ‘lived only for their happiness’ as well as ‘give you last breath’ and that wasn’t ever enough, pain enters that once loving, hopeful and trusting heart.

                Today, I have come out of the pain and the hurt that plagued me for a long long time, I still have memories of “that moment” but they are just memories. I have put the hurt behind me and now live a quiet and content life, but from THIS moment… I do not believe in love, nor do I feel that the Lord is blessing us when WE think He is. He is letting us make our own decisions, but is with us, protecting us from harm, but not from heartache and not from learning lessons. Today I live for Him alone, and He is my protector and my only love. What’s weird is “my dreams came true because of you”, has a totally different meaning. FINALLY, my dreams have come true…because of you. Because you taught me that trusting in another is NOT a smart idea, and now, my dreams can finally come true.

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