GRAPEFRUIT JUICYFRUIT.

 

We had breakfast with one of my sister's best friends from .... FOREVER, this morning. When she sat down, it was just like she and my sister were still those little girls...

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 She said "What's New" and I said NOTHING... like it was 1975. Its... not. Its almost 2014. And "what's new" made me sit and think as I was in line at the car wash. 1975 to 2002. Fast forward. Divorces, financially broken, loss of a dear friend, loss of my dad, loss of my mom. TWO, divorces. In 2010 I was in a hole. No money, part time job, depression that almost killed me, I lost 20 pounds, friends were not around, parents that wouldn't understand, not wanting to burden my family, I slept. In bed for 12 hours, on the couch for 12 hours... oops, 11, I always showered and fed the dogs. From the bed to the couch. Then Margie and Millie started to pray for me. I decided to go to church. I went to Greenford Christian Church, and found out they had a family therapist and a Divorce Recovery Class. I made an appointment with the therapist, a REAL one, not a preacher. Our first session I did nothing but cry. And I could cry right now telling this. I managed every Tuesday for about 6 weeks to go to this Class, until I managed to find probably the only stalker in the class... ugh. But I continued to go to church. That church was too big, and except for the best communion wafers I ever ate, I left there empty.

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 Then came changes. BIG HUGE CHANGES. My dad passes. My mom, who I NEVER got along with, moves in. 1st year, ALL FIGHTING. I hate you. I hate your house, I hate... every 12.4 minutes!! Then, by her insistence and threats, I started school. Slowly, I met people that started to change me. I started working for my friends at My Pet's Inn and met more people. Denise who would secretly take me under her wing  . Pam, who just changed me. Do they know this? Now they do. My relationship with my mom changed, my heart didn't weigh so heavy ... sometimes, Okay, a lot of times I still struggled with being divorced. I missed "A" relationship, but struggled. I missed Cali, I missed Claudia, Bebe, and the Agualirs and the beaches. But, I have to admit, there were times that I just wanted to say 'the heck with it' and ask him to take me back. But I knew better. Still lonely, but putting emotional decisions on the back burner.

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 So, I look back at 'what's new'... ME!!! It feels like nothing changes from day to day, but with my parent's help, I own my home. I own my car, I went back to school. With The Lord's help, I AM GRADUATING from college in February and will walk across the stage to receive my Associates Degree on May 1st, I have become friends with my neighbors, I have learned to not 'want/need' like I did when I was able to, I am humbled, embarrassed, grateful to have energy assistance and that 35 bucks a month for food assistance, and a part time job and a sister that helps me on a regular basis. I have gone out, with a MAN!!!! hahahah, a gentleman, who is so nice to me, I could cry. I have the greatest friends, my high school friends, my college friends, my church friends...

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 So, what's new? Me. I praise the Lord everyday for changing me. He hasn't made me rich (hahahah) but He has made me humble. And Thankful. And content. My church, is AMAZING. Small, but focused on the word of God. I have a pastor that meets my needs whenever I humble myself enough to ask for it. And I have myself back. Yes, I still miss the beach and my Cali girls and I miss .... things. But I am new, and I still cry, and worry too much, but its for different things now. Its because so many of you cared enough about me to pray. This song, explains it all.  Y