Life... And The Jokes It Plays

     It started out like any average day in the life of this old girl. Up, medicine for Grace and Casey and myself, feed the dogs shower and start my day. Today I was really blessed because Karlie is back and I got to pick her up from school.
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     I get to the school, and as I stood in the hallway and peered in on my beautiful niece, she was sitting alone at the table. Staring down at the table, sitting on her hands. I stood there for what seemed like minutes, and she never moved. A couple of the little girls came over to her to talk, one was playing with her hair, and she never moved. Never smiled, never even acknowledged them.  She was lost.  I know what had been going on in her life this past week... so much drug abuse, so much fighting and hatred  , then grandpa came last night and brought her and her brother and her mom, my niece,  home to Boardman. I assumed from the conversation via text , that we had last night, it was ugly and very unsettled.   I am imagining things always are. When she caught a glimpse of me, she went to her teacher and told her I was there and she wanted to go home. I talked to the teacher briefly and asked how she had been today and the reply was ''she never spoke''. OMGoodness, my heart broke. I asked her after class how she was, and she started walking away. I said "where is old Aunt Mair's hug" and she ran. When we got in the car there were tears in her eyes. I asked her if everything was alright and she said ''I want to see my mom, NOW''.  I was then faced with an overwhelming fear that I was going to find her mom dead from an overdose when we got back to the house. I drove her home in a state of panic, and  my first glimpse in the window was Landon, still in PJs, screaming. My heart raced. I slowly opened the door, and fear overcame me when I saw my niece lying on the couch. I started to cry, but she sat up... she was just watching TV. Yes, with a screaming 1 year old.
 
  Karlie was relieved to be home, but angry that her mom ......... she went to her room, slammed the door and refused to come out. "What is going on with her?". She's just mad at me. I sat and talked to my obviously oblivious niece and begged her to come home with me til my brother got home. She refused. So no sooner did I walk in the door than I got a call from her mother, my former sister in law. "Ashlie is going through withdrawals and needs help NOW! I get back in the car and race over to my brothers. As I pulled in, I noticed his truck was there, so he must have got the call too. I was going to just leave, until  I heard him screaming at my niece, and the little ones crying in the yard. I pulled in. Dealing with drug addiction first hand is hard on the addict. Dealing with a drug addict's anger filled children... a whole nother story. Dealing with family screaming and crying and lying and verbal venom, takes its toll quickly. After today, no one's life will ever be the same. After witnessing what I witnessed today, I became physically sick when I got home tonight. If things would have gone awry on the way to taking everyone back to their 'home' with her mom, I could have been in jail right now. Drugs and money, heroin and a drug buy, I am drained. I was MIA for 10 hours today. Paul was so afraid that my car broke down somewhere and I didn't bring my phone. He came to the house looking to see that I was alright ( I have not been seeing well with my diabetes and fell UP the steps the other day, spraining my wrist ... long story ), when all was clear then he worried about car problems. After a horrible day of fighting with my brother, TRYING to help my niece, driving 45 miles on "E", I am relieved to be home. I called my brother's pastor and told him he was having a melt down. He hung up the phone and went to Tommy.

     Sometimes, my love is stretched, tested and abused, but not usually all in one day!!  Today, was more than I can ever handle in my lifetime. I need to turn on Modern Family marathon, fall asleep on the couch and in the morning when I rise, start out on maybe a different 'side' of the bed.

     I love You Lord. Please take control of this... VERY out of control situation. In Christ's Name I pray. Amen.