So, I thought I would sit down today and just pour my heart out!! Not MUCH is new, Paul and I are saying 'I DO' again in a couple of months. I guess that is more of a shocker than news. I love (d) being single. I really did. Do. But I am getting older and I really like getting out and doing things. I thought a while back that...well, things don't really go as I plan! I think if I could re do things, I would have not mingled work and play. I would have NEVER let my heart get out of control. I don't know why we just didn't leave well enough alone and stay in CA. I was used to 'that life' and the things that ... ugh. WHY am I blogging?
So ANYWHO, I put the house up for sale. Unofficially and already have 3 people interested without pictures being on the website. I wasn't planning on moving til May/June. But, we'll see what happens. I found out today that the former owners of the house never switched the gas well royalties into my name and since 13 they have been getting MY checks and keeping them. I was more than pissed. I sent them a nasty email and well, some people are just down right dirty. They have money, why would they take that stipend that i should have gotten. Had a meeting with the Food Assistance people who said "I'm sorry maam. 16 dollars is all you can qualify for ... you do make 1000 a month on disability. I bet those folks down the road from me aren't living on 16 bucks a month. But... I lost. Life hasn't been manageable for me since I lost my mom sitting job ... so onward with my life. I do get some help from Paul, but we are remodeling the old house and I try to never ask for anything. Went to have my eyes re-examined today. Holy crap have they gone down hill. I have to have a whole new prescription done. I'll be glad to see again!!
My niece won't be here for my wedding which makes me sad. She is moving to FL and has a job with a professional ball team down there. Oh man, its not easy for an old auntie to say goodbye again. Somedays I want to say screw it and move away!! I was contemplating how many people would hate me if I played Runaway Bride and sold my house and just took the money and ran!!! But, I am so much more responsible than that, and I ran before and look where it got me...
Spikey has been so sick lately. He has a huge lump in his sternum (?), one on his side and I saw one at the base of his privates the other morning. He gags all the time, and I just try and make him as comfortable as possible. I don't know what is going to happen when he is gone. I am a basket case NOW and he is still here!! My baby boy. If nothing else good came from my second marriage, Spikey did. I love that baby. I have to get out and talk to some people about doing some fencing on WWR . We have an acre and a half out there. I would love to enclose the entire thing and they could run all the time, but I have cost limits. I want the best for them. And for myself. And of course, for my marriage.
Well, I am going to hit it. I'll be back to blogging soon. I love doing this, but to be honest, it may just look like a bunch of jibber jabber to you, but pouring out my thoughts and feelings, and not giving too much of my feelings away, is sometimes difficult. I want to be a writer when I grow up.
Okay my friend, this one is for you. Thanks for the challenge. But I don't know why!
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