GRAPEFRUIT JUICYFRUIT.

Last night, we started out watching The Big Bang Theory on the couch about 8 o'clock and woke up, still in each others arms about 3 am. I guess that means we slept together last night!! Hahaha. Its harder and harder when he leaves, and last night when we kissed goodnight, all I could think of is 'my parents would LOVE him!'. My parents hated my first husband, at first. He was 16 years older and came with 4 kids and 2 ex's. But, it lasted through good and bad, for 20+ years and even though it took a year, they came around. They, and all of my family and friends, except one niece, despised #2. He came with 2 ex wives, 3 kids and had a silver tongue that could make you believe that all of his 'history' was the fault of his ex wives!!That lasted 4 or 5 years, I actually cant even remember if we divorced after 4 or 5 years, and left me emotionally broken. Needless to say, I am not looking for a number 3, but John... he would have made my parents happy that there is a person out there that has all the same values, morals, never been to jail, never ripped people off, never lied or stolen, and ... never cheated. John was married for 19 years and divorced for 2 years now and has never been with anyone except his ex wife! 3 very well mannered and successful children and really treats me like gold. Really, 1 treated me like gold for 9 years. 2, for 9 days and its nice to know that there is someone who isn't embarrassed of me, loves the things that I do, and my family and friends love him too. Mom & Dad, I am sorry for what I put you through with my choices, but even though its a little late for your approval, every time he kisses me goodnight ( because he doesn't spend the night!!!!), I just know you would have loved him.

Pretty soon I will be walking across the stage to receive my Associates Degree. Another thing I wish my parents could be a part of. That was the hardest 2 years of my life, and I did it all for them. They would have been so proud of me, I am sure. I got a card the other day from my first husband and it said "I don't always say it, and I think that was ONE of the factors of our divorce, and I have always made some wrong choices, the SECOND factor, but I want you to know how PROUD I am of you, and your finishing college. I know that you have been through so much in the past few years, and I know it hasn't always been easy for you, but I will always love you, and ALWAYS be proud of you. You raised 5 great kids and if it weren't for me, we would have retired together, and for that I am sorry. You need to know how proud I am of you. You were a great wife and mom, and now, college graduate. I have apologized before, and I am going to apologize now, that we aren't ''rockin'' on the front porch together.' I thought that was so sweet. I know he is sorry, and I am too. Maybe if he would have come to counseling with me... but 'maybe' is too late and too much has gone on and although we have agreed that we will always be there for each other, to help in illness and be there if there is no one else there, it can never be again. But, I will always love him. Weird? idk.