We Do It All For You...

Life, you either love it or hate it. And today, after some jibber jabber texting and me being wussy or queer, I took a step back and analyzed the things I say most to the one I say it to the most and decided... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?!?
~
I, with the Grace of God, my parents and my siblings am in the best place I have EVER been in, in my life!!! Imagine me boo hooing about 'coulda shoulda woulda' when really, I have it all! A choice was made to change our lives without my permission. Lovers and other choices followed and I was left, high and dry without my spouse, and then without my dad. You know that 'bottom' you have to hit before you start 'climbing'? I LIVED there for MONTHS. I had a roof over my head due to a good decision I made when my uncle passed away, but, other than that... I was not in a good place.
~
I am thinking that 'married' 'OhiO' 'responsibilities' was not a 'good place' for another. Cali, freedom, and other goodies was the 'good place'.
~
Today, life is good in CA and happy to be able to make the choices that are made, all came from One Decision. I am truly happy that he is happy. I will always love him, but he is in the place he wants to be and for that, I am OK! I love that he is living the life he always wanted. He is near the beach, sunshine everyday and the freedom to come and go without 'wifey' in the background.
~
Today, a job, on my way to an Associates Degree, my family, great friends and my own business came from pulling myself out of a pit, and pulling myself up. Through many tears and much anger, through having to be with my mom when we never saw eye to eye on anything, to here. Right here on Annawan Lane, my future is set. Right now, even though I had to 'endure' watching things happen as they did, watching 2 parents die right in front of me, and struggling with working and homework and caring for my mom and praying every morning that God would keep me THAT DAY, and thanking Him for being with me every moment, I am a totally different person than I was 3 years ago. Not just a different person, I am a strong, successful , blessed Child of God. And I am a daughter who misses her dad and mom terribly.
~
So, now, when I feel 'down' or weepy or like a big old wuss, I have to stop, and look at my life, and realize if I wasn't 'left', I wouldn't be who I am today. I love You Lord. And I thank You. :)