I had a terrible, restless night last night. I've been pondering a decision about someone that I think I have to let go of in my life. The 'gig' is up. I am busy. I am stressed at times and I am very hard on myself about some things. OK, most things. But this one is rough. I have decided that for right now, and for until I am ready, I need to move on by myself. In my head and heart, I am not ready for anything that even resembles a relationship. I have a great time in my life with this person, but honestly, as I sit here, I look at PILES of books and papers that I have finals on this week. I am not getting but a C in one class and that is unacceptable to me. I don't have time.
I am also contemplating taking a Tai Chi class. It is on Thursday nights at YSU Metro. I have to find out my work schedule at school before I can commit, but if I am free, I am going to take it.
PLUS, I committed my Sunday mornings to Tippi. Tippi exhausts me. My leg is a wreck after an hour or so, so come quitting time, I'm all in. So with school, TaiChi, baking dog biscuits, studying , class ( and my upcoming Monday class is an ALL DAY Microsoft Word 2010), Tippi, studying, HOMEWORK, studying... I'm not really any good to anyone!! Especially my mom and my family.
Yesterday was a LONG day at Tippi. Next week is a Men's Guest Day, and I start at 6 am. Sometimes I wish for it all to be over. For it to be time for me to take the next step in my life. BUT, when I look back just one year as to where I was then and to where I am NOW, I am simply amazed. AT MYSELF!! No one is holding me back, no one is saying 'this is stupid' everyone encourages me and I finally like 'Me'. Now THAT is a result of a road less traveled.
Anywho, I was also listening. My car was broken into not to long ago, and the other night, I heard the gate open as I was sitting here in the kitchen. Well, Spikey and Grace heard it too and they FLEW down the steps and out the door. I followed, but it slammed when I got to the dining room. I don't know why I didn't have the padlock on the door, but I just re-ran the night I was broken into and the fear that followed that night. Its kind of unsettling being a woman and her mom alone. I haven't said anything to my mom yet, but I ... eh. I'll wait.
The other night we had a mouse UNDER the carpet by the front door. How the heck does THAT happen? I am on a DCon run this morning and putting them in the rafters in the basement. Anywho, needless to say Grace was OBSESSED. So, during the night Saturday night she ripped up the carpet by the door and killed the mouse. So, what to do what to do. I was thinking about calling Empire Today and seeing what it would cost me to do that buy 2 rooms get the whole house free deal.... I would hard wood all of the house. No more 'accidents' that result in stinky messes down to the pad, but... idk. I love the 'warmth' of carpets, but the convenience of hardwood. I can't put area rugs down because those are 'peepee pads' to Grace. smh. Kids... hahahha.
The other day I was coming from class to go home and I forgot I had a car alarm... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! To say the least!
Well, this is the last week for my babies, human ones! My Sheshe leaves Wednesday morning. She will be on her way to becoming a forensic scientist. Oh my gosh I love that girl so much. Its hard being part of their lives for so long, going to their concerts, soccer games, softball games, prom and homecoming photo shoots, birthday parties and everything else and then they go out on their own. We sat and cried one day because I have so much sadness that I left her for 4 years (not just her, all of them) and missed SO MUCH. She blamed herself for me leaving her and that breaks my heart. Anywho... she is off and on her way to a VERY EXCITING future!!!
Saturday morning, Bri goes back to school. She is in her SECOND YEAR of college. She is going to be a business manager in sports!! 19 years old and she worked for the Cleveland Indians this summer!! She has her foot in the door already. She didn't start out with the Akron Indians, but Cleveland. She has so much going for her! She has the most loving personality and truly cares about most everyone (she does dislike a few!!). She attracts people with her smile and the way she treats them. If you met her today, you would feel like you have known her for years. The thing about Bri, she calls me all the time, and I am so blessed that my nieces are so like daughters that I never had. Ahhhhhh. The babies are gone. The older 2 have kids of their own and life, for everyone is good. Finally.
9 years ago today my 'daughter' lost her baby. A twin. One was born fine and the other didn't make it. Jimmy is a dear treasure.
9 years ago today my 'daughter' lost her baby. A twin. One was born fine and the other didn't make it. Jimmy is a dear treasure.
Well, Im going to run to Dollar General for mouse control, then back to the books. I don't know why you stop by, but I'm glad you do. And Jim... have a good week!!
L8R
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