GRAPEFRUIT JUICYFRUIT.

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.
~Dale Carnegie
so glad that part of my life is over. and walking away from it was not easy, but its nice to finally breathe.

I watched a show today that brought tears to my eyes. It was actually Million Dollar Listing, but Josh went to Europe with his grandmother. He is writing a book about her life. They went to the concentration camps where her husband was burned.
     I've always had this weird fear of people that can hate a group of ppl for no reason. I was at one time on that hated a race, but school and great new friends have made me realize, I was one of 'those ppl that I hated'.    My grand dad, they tell me, hated Jews. He was German and I don't know if he was born in Germany or his dad was, but from what I understand he was a hater. My dad too. When I was younger I went to Catholic school. At school we were taught to love everyone. But when I got home... there was no love for the Jewish or the Blacks. Or the Mexicans or puerto ricans  for that matter. They tolerated Dagos because the were our neighbors, but I was raised in a very racist home. I had a very good friend in middle school, Mark Levi who I loved to hang out with. When he would leave, Larry (my dad) would just rail on him. I could never understand why? He was polite, smart and parted his hair on the side!! Larry hated when boys parted their hair in the middle.
     When I went to Youngstown Baptist Church, we as a church family celebrated every Jewish event. I loved it. It was important to me to live as God's Chosen People did. Years later I married into the Jewish Faith. I was so excited to be part of that. I wish we would have done more, but we did go to a High Holiday (?) and celebrated every holiday. I was blessed when my mom in law gave me the candle holder to burn candles on Friday at sunset. Unfortunately we were always out at that time, but she gave it to me and said 'May you always be well and happy".


      I could leave this blog right there... but I have something to say. (surprised?). I started reading today from this site  http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_did_Hitler_and_the_Nazis_hate_the_Jews .
Today touched me so much that I need to know what happened over there. I need to know. I need it to be a part of my life. Although I am divorced from my Jewish family, its time for me to study it.  I'm ready.