RoLLeR cOaStEr

Today was such a myriad of feelings. I hate that. This morning I got up early and headed out to get myself a bagel and hot chocolate from DD and in line this like 'cloud' of sadness was over me. How does that happen to a semi normal girl? Just *poof*. So I was really early (rarely does that happen) so I decided to talk the long way to school. Around YSU and up to Gypsy Lane. I started feeling alright then.
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Keyboarding. I hate that class with a royal passion. Not so much for any bad reason, but its sooooo dang long. Today we had 5 minute timed writings. 3 of them, in a row. 15 minutes of typing the same thing over and over again. I drank hot chocolate, I drank 2 five hour energies, I drank iced tea I had a Gatorade (and peed every break) just to try and stay alert. Nada. Now when I first started this class it was REALLY horrible because I could get all 5 lessons done in an hour, hour and a half. Now its taking me to the end of class. Yes, the lessons are getting difficult, but sitting there, typing...all those hours. Then I ended up staying OVER to help Krista (pseudo-daughter) correct her proofreading errors. ugh.
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Then I come home. My mom is getting worse by the day. Yesterday when I got home she had taken a package of cupcake papers ( I had an order for last night), opened the package, tore all the packaging into little pieces and separated all the papers. She had a TJMaxx bag that I just brought home the day before and my shirts were on the table. She had silverware all over the counter and the salt and pepper shakers were as if they had been spilled out. "What the heck happened here today?" I said, trying not to yell.... What do you  mean? MOM, look. I don't know you must  have done that before you left for school. I just got up and had some coffee and cereal. No dirty bowls and the coffee pot was empty, from the night before. "Mom, seriously you think I would do this?" "you think I would do this?" well, Rose, its you and me. So she gets pissed off and goes into the bathroom and locks the door. whatever. After I clean everything up, I notice the new boots I bought were taken out of the box and in the living room. The papers inside of the boots were out and they were by the front door... Mom, whats this? I don't know, what are they... omg shoot me please. So ANYWHO... I had my brother come and sit with her today. I think I'm going to  have him every day that he can. My neighbor behind me does home health care, I think if I can't get Dr Rich to assign her to HOSPICE care, I am going to have to have her come in once in awhile. Thank God for awesome neighbors friends and family.
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So anyway, tonight I was feeling kind of OK. Then an email triggered some 'stuff' in my heart. My ex's grandson. Did you ever go along in your life and be doing OK, not really thinking of anyone, and you see a picture of the sweetest little child in the world. I hate change. I hate divorce. I hate broken promises that lead to broken lives and you just realize how much you miss someone. Elliott lived with us briefly and I have to tell you, him and I had so much fun together. :(
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Well, I am going to hit it. I'm tired and I need a good 6  hours. Have a groovy Thursday.