Monday, August 3, 2015

Monday Ramblings...

Well, things are starting to move along now! The room is almost done, the kitchen almost ready. Tomorrow the microwave and dishwasher get installed, and now I am just waiting for them to rip out the pantry in the kitchen to give way to a huge closet in the bedroom.  When I opened the bedroom door the  other day, I just started to cry. It was so emotional to see what was once a glorified closet, to this massive room, with windows and a sliding door and a porch... From where we were in 2000, to where we are in  2015. I don't deserve this. I cry when I look at what the Lord has done for me. The brand new husband he gave me. A man with affection and love and a passion for our marriage once again. Even I don't recognize him at times. From tears to laughter... 
Yesterday we ordered our new furniture. 

 We locked in dates and have our goals set and on Saturday, September 5th we will be moving into the house. His cat and my dogs are okay with each other, we just have to wait and see how Chuck ( Paul's cat ) and Phoebe Snow ( my cat ) will be together. About 6 or 8 ppl from the church will be helping us move, and my family and Paul Jr and Brenden.  I will be having my yard sale on Sept 11 & 12 and my last trash pick up  is the 18th. When I lock the door on that day, I will be leaving a place with such beautiful and sorrowful memories. A husband left me. My mom passed away here. I was broken into. AND ... I healed in this house. I went from a wreck to my old self here. I had a first kiss here and made love for the first time in YEARS. I thought I found love here, but recovered from that disappointment here, too. I learned to live a good (but struggling) life here with my 'kids'. I developed deep friendships with many neighbors and here, is where my heart will always be.       WWR, is where a new love will be taking hold. I will be a wife and a 'mom' again. I will share my life with a man who truly does love me, and tells me every night. This is where I most likely will live out the rest of my days. Life... It goes on. 
   Today a young lady friend of my nieces was killed going too fast around a bend. Twenty one, a teacher in Karlie's preschool. A young woman filled with love and laughter and who cherished her friends and family and the children she taught every day. RIP honey. You will be missed terribly. You have left a lasting legacy and will be missed by SO many. 
   Yesterday in church Gary preached on Death. My good friend Becky ( who is  Gary's mom ) gave  a testimony about going through the most devastating death. In 2007  her daughter Amy passed away. Amy had been married 3 years and had a 2 month old little girl, Katie. Becky and Vinnie have 5 children, and their youngest who was 25 just got married and so now Becky and Vinnie were able to start living their retirement years. Well... Becky and Vinnie ended up adopting Katie and now, they have an 8 year old. Life hasn't always been easy for them, but having a huge , loving, compassionate family made life a little easier. Now, life  is totally joyful for them.

 Life ... it goes on. 
Last night I spent 2 hours on the phone with my niece, Briana. We laughed , we cried, we sang some Shania Twain, and we just had the best talk. I love her so much. Nearing the end of our conversation she said something to me that almost shut me down. She said "Aunt Mary, I admire you so much. You are my role model. You have gone through so much and still you talk about the Lord, and how much you love him. You stopped dating someone because you felt you were hurting God. We hardly even think about  if what we do hurts Him. There is no one in my life that means more to me than  you." .  I lost it. I said "Bri. Grandma, grandpa, your mom and dad, they all say 'JUST DON'T BE LIKE AUNT MARY'. Whenever you screw up, I know they say 'do you want to end up like aunt mary?'   And the best one "JESUS YOU SOUND LIKE YOUR AUNT'. And you have ME as a role model? I am the LEAST of the family. To this day I still get put down subtly by my 'family'.  She said "I understand you. I know that you love EVERYONE even the drug people that you still send money to. You help people that can never do anything to help you". wow. I cried like a little girl when we got off of the phone. xoxo There are not many people that see the good in me. And that is alright. Its there, sometimes its buried deep, but its  there. I don't think about it because i deal with snarky remarks regularly... but last night, I was grateful for the reminder. I love you Bri. 
  Tomorrow is a busy day. We have to meet with some guy from the condo in NV, and then  go to the house and start taking boxes. September will be here before I know it. Boardman, I am going to miss you. Annawan, I am going to take all the memories that I made here and move on with the rest of my life. Another new journey... Life, it goes on.  


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