I have wanted to blog all
day today, but my ADHD has been getting the better of me these past few weeks.
Today, was the worst.
I seemed to have caused
quite a stir the other night with my post to my mom… One thought I was asking
to come back, one thought perhaps I was having a change of heart, and one said ‘I
really hope you mean this about me. I want to take you away’… Seriously? Or to
quote one commenter ‘REALLY’!! Look. There
are days that I think about each of you, and another. What we had, was
great when we had it. But, for whatever
reason, we don’t have it anymore. I remember my relationships very fondly. And, being 57, I realize that you CAN miss
someone, but continue moving on. My marriage is right for me. He KNOWS me. When I say no, he knows what that means.
Or, when he gets a call, I don’t even SAY,
who was that? I don’t have to. We could go for DAYS not seeing each other,
but I never wonder what he is really doing.
No neighbor has a crush. No ‘subordinate’
calls drunk. No naked pictures come onto his phone. And we are more familiar with each other, and
go for hours on the couch watching TV and we don’t have to say a word, and its
okay . He doesn’t call his ex wife in
front of or behind my back, no secret phone calls, and when he says ‘’im going to the store’’, I
never think…yeah sure. If you lied to me, if you wanted more than I could be,
if you cheated on me, if you EVER called me the C word, rest assured, even if
we had amazing times, you disrespected me.
So…. Jacob, you can take that post down.
You shouldn’t have lied. I am too
old for bullshit.
On a lighter note… Tomorrow is my last day as a single woman. I am really looking forward to tomorrow
night. We have all the food bought and
the family will be at my sister’s house
cooking and baking and cheering
the nuptials!! I know some friends will
be there, and my niece Sheila will be home. Everything will be done and put in
crock pots and then Saturday morning we
will take everything to the church and plug them in. The musicians will be
practicing and we will be rehearsing. Paul’s late sister’s husband will be over at his house. We will go home and shower and come back to
the church. Do the short ceremony then eat!!! Hahahaha this is what its all
about!!
I wish my parents could be here. I know they would be
thrilled. Maybe even…dare I say, proud!
I sign the papers next week for the house, then we get started. I will be living here until its
complete. I don’t want my ‘kids’ at the house when the remodel is going
on. Too much noise. Plus, I enjoy my alone time. This will give me the
opportunity for enjoying my last couple
of months alone.
Time to get my arse to bed. Its going to be a busy day
tomorrow J
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