Thursday, June 11, 2015

I have wanted to blog all day today, but my ADHD has been getting the better of me these past few weeks. Today, was the worst.

I seemed to have caused quite a stir the other night with my post to my mom… One thought I was asking to come back, one thought perhaps I was having a change of heart, and one said ‘I really hope you mean this about me. I want to take you away’… Seriously? Or to quote one commenter ‘REALLY’!!  Look. There are days that I   think about  each of you, and another. What we had, was great when we had it. But,  for whatever reason, we don’t have it anymore. I remember my relationships very fondly.  And, being 57, I realize that you CAN miss someone, but continue moving on. My marriage is right for me. He KNOWS  me. When I say no, he knows what that means. Or, when he gets a call, I don’t even       SAY, who was that?  I don’t have to.  We could go for DAYS not seeing each other, but I never wonder what he is really doing.  No  neighbor has a crush. No ‘subordinate’ calls drunk. No naked pictures come onto his phone.  And we are more familiar with each other, and go for hours on the couch watching TV and we don’t have to say a word, and its okay . He doesn’t call his ex wife  in front of or behind my back, no secret phone calls,  and when he says ‘’im going to the store’’, I never think…yeah sure. If you lied to me, if you wanted more than I could be, if you cheated on me, if you  EVER  called me the C word, rest assured, even if we had amazing times, you disrespected me.  So…. Jacob, you can take that post down.  You shouldn’t have lied.  I am too old for bullshit.

        On a lighter note… Tomorrow is my last day as  a single woman.  I am really looking forward to tomorrow night.  We have all the food bought and the family will be at my sister’s house  cooking and baking and  cheering the nuptials!!  I know some friends will be there, and my niece Sheila will be home. Everything will be done and put in crock pots  and then Saturday morning we will take everything to the church and plug them in. The musicians will be practicing and we will be rehearsing. Paul’s late sister’s  husband will be over at his house.  We will go home and shower and come back to the church. Do the short ceremony then eat!!! Hahahaha this is what its all about!!

        I wish my parents could be here. I know they would be thrilled.  Maybe even…dare I say, proud!


        I sign the papers next week for the house, then we get  started. I will be living here until its complete. I don’t want my ‘kids’ at the house when the remodel is going on.  Too much noise. Plus,  I enjoy my alone time. This will give me the opportunity for  enjoying my last couple of months alone. 

        Time to get my arse to bed. Its going to be a busy day tomorrow J

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