Ugh...

 What a freakin blow I got last night. I am ... okay, I have been beyond livid, hurt, destroyed. I cried all night long last night. I woke up at 3am crying... I cried all day long today. Do I feel hate? Yes. And I am ashamed of that. Do I feel betrayed? More than I have ever been betrayed in my life. I am ... was, so angry I just wanted to START SHIT... but I started reading, and praying and just bringing it to the Lord.

 He has walked me through the hardest journey of my life these past 5 years. He has brought me from pure Hell, to where I am today. He has held my hand when I wanted to die... So I cannot let this little...okay, HUGE bump set me off. I have never been so disappointed in any 2 people in my lifetime as I am now. I am going to smile through the pain, and I am going to deal with this the way the Lord would. I mean, I wouldn't be going through this without Him knowing what was happening. So, as sure as I am that my parents would be beyond pissed, I have to put that away, and go to bed in prayer tonight, and when I wake up tomorrow, start it all over. With forgiveness and gratitude for what He has blessed me with. 

AND ''WHY'' has to go. I may not know why now, but one day I will.