Friday, May 15, 2015

One More Day...

Tomorrow, my beautiful niece leaves for Miami. She starts her new job with the Miami Heat on Monday. Its hard to believe that last Saturday she graduated college, and so soon she is gone. You know that... if I only knew then, sayings? If I only knew last summer that that was the last summer I would have with both of my nieces, I would have been there everyday bothering the snot out of them. If I knew her last birthday would have been the last birthday we spend together for awhile, I would have 'whooped it up' a little bigger than we did. TREASURE EVERY SINGLE DAY THAT GOD ALLOWS YOU TO HAVE YOUR FAMILY, because one day, you might be saying goodbye to the ones you love the very most. Your kids, your spouse, your PARENTS.

My dad... I was reading to him, and watching Judge Judy and he had already been in a kind of comatose state for 4 days. I was making fun of whoever was on there, and I asked him if he liked the book I was reading to him. I was almost through, and wondered if he liked that author. When I glanced over his lips were so parched, and I got a glass of cold water and was swabbing his mouth when ... he took his last breath. I love you dad. I miss you every single day. sososososososomuch.

My mom... Easter morning I was getting ready for Tommy and Meg and their families to come over after church. I was running the sweeper and she had yelled to turn the plane engine off. I came in to check on her. Goodmorning MOM!! Happy Easter. She had no idea who I was, I gave her her medicine and her ICE CHIPS... she always wanted ice chips. I went into the dining room to do some homework, and my brother came in. We sat and talked for a bit, then my sister and family came in. Sheila went into say goodmorning, and came out saying 'can someone fix grandma's oxygen, she took it off AGAIN.' When my sister went in she said 'Hi Mom'...'mom... MAIR come  here!'. I love you mom. I am so honored to have been here when you passed. I am so grateful every day, that I was blessed ( even when it didn't feel like it ) to take care of you for 2 years. I love you and miss you too, every single day. sosososososososososmuch.

I remember "lasts" that hurt. Saying goodbye to you as you left to go back home. Your home. I knew you would never return again. I knew there was something else waiting for you. I knew there was a plan.

I remember the last time I kissed you goodbye. We had fallen asleep on the couch watching a movie. I knew I was a 'booty call' and I knew that you were in love with someone else. I knew when you held me and kissed me that last time... I couldn't go on caring about you, and you caring about another. I miss you. You changed my life. I can't compete with anyone. OR rather, I won't compete. Everytime we were together she called or sent a text. Coinkidink? Nope. Birds eye view.

I never wonder if anyone ever misses me. Its pretty clear because the ones who do, tell me. Morning texts to have a great day and 'I miss you'. Friends that live across the country that we talk at least once a week. Cousins from all over that send an email, or a card... So, those people are very clear on it. When you truly miss someone, no matter the circumstances, THEY know. And for those that I miss, I know that it doesn't matter ... for the most part.

And I wish that while walking in your life's lane, you come across and walk with dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground.

Let it all come together your way, making every journey of your life so beautiful. So peaceful. So blessed. Let the world that you touch, the people who’s world you touch feel blessed just by being part of your life. J

I am going to miss you Briana. More than you will ever know  xoxoxo

No comments:

Post a Comment