Wednesday, April 29, 2015


My life is so where it should be right now. I have no desire to call anyone out on what they 'post', or what they say. Sometimes people WANT to change and can't. Sometimes , just changing the people we spend our lives, brings out the best in us! 
When you are with someone who is constantly thinking of other women, or doing more than just thinking, its hard on the one you are saying you love. I have realized that its where you take your life. And one of the most important lessons, is who you go on that journey with. I cannot deny that everyone who has been a part of my life has held my hand has made it a blast!! Paul and I had 20 years and only did it go south when things got in the way. We raised 5 kids, had fun vaca's, had more family than most people could handle!! Yep it went bad after 18 years. Sad. R. Showed me how fun life in the limelight was. Limo rides and parties at beach homes. Meeting some famous basketball players and enjoying fabulous closeness again. I chose to leave, he chose to screw me. But, after a couple of long talks and some fun get together s after 5 years, I had  a great reunion. Not great enough to spend forever, but great enough to put a smile on this 'old' girls face. (old, as i was referred to yesterday). G. After R I didn't date for 2 years. G brought me flowers and sent cards and treated me so wonderfully. But, then I met T. Barring all the red flags that went out every single day ( hahahaha, my ex stole my furniture was probably one of the best, I have to say ), and regular 'run ins' became the norm, but after running, we had a FABULOUS time. Then the naked pics on the phone. The lies becoming norm. The emails to old lovers and texts that became unforgiveable... I had no choices left. All of that continued for a longggg time but in THAT time of my life, I had nothing but  love and support and family and friends and life, as it is meant to be. Then THREE years later, JJ came along and changed my life. Really. I would never be where I am today if not for JJ. I never was hugged, kissed, laughed, held hands with ANYONE that made me feel like JJ did. But, being the prude that I proudly am ( and that is NOT a bad thing, really ), I knew it was going to fast and I was really falling hard and ... I couldn't do it. But, with R and G, T and JJ.... you made my life exciting and fun, and ... I went places I  never dreamed of and met people i would have never met. R, G and JJ it just couldn't continue for one reason or another. But no one, none of them ever hurt me in ways that I never imagined I could be hurt. When we were in a relationship, it was exclusive. No cheating, no texting, no lying and then the 'other stuff'... But now, I am back to where the Lord has put me. We took a vow in 82. We let it fall apart. We have learned, and I am in love once again. I am not even sure I was in love at 24, but now, at 56... THIS is love. So....Referring to me as a religious hypocrite takes some gonads. How about posting what a great parent, or loving spouse, or great family man or even what a  grand religious person you are. Sometimes before you 'label' phonies, look in the mirror. I have had a  longggggg time to look in the mirror, and I promised God that I would never let myself spend even a day with someone who sent red flags flaring. I will never feel like I want to k ill myself. I will never be held by another person who makes me feel less than I am. And for THAT, I THANK YOU. Maybe I am a phony at times, I am human and I interact with sooo many people you cannot always be perfect. But I am happy with the woman I have become and look forward to MANY years of enjoying the life I should have probably never walked away from in the first place. Please Jacob, mind your own. I love you, but you are not helping. Period.  

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