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I accepted a 'date' invite this week and my heart was actually RACING like a teenager. He said to me "I want a date. A hold hands, go for a ride, go to a beach, go to dinner, laugh and be nervous kind of date." We are friends and to go a step further was scary. SCARY!! So, we went to Erie and spent the day walking and we held hands and laughed and kinda hugged, like people do. We went out and had a great dinner and did some beachy sort of things. On the way home we stopped at the new Peets Coffee shop and HELD HANDS and talked about a hundred million things and when he brought me home he walked me to the door and kissed me!!!!! He said ''I really really love spending time with you'' and I have wanted to kiss you for so long. So I came inside and sat on the couch with the kids and cried! Yep, cried. Do you know what I wanted to ask him when he said he's been wanting to kiss me for a very long time...'why'? Why do I think that? I AM a catch, and I love to play and have a good time, why am I reserved anymore? A couple of idiotic mistakes ? I don't really think that has as much to do as feeling that I want someONE , in my life so much that I am fearful of taking the wrong steps, as I have done in the past. Maybe. A fear of falling in love? idk. A fear of change, again, could be, but that night, all the fear left me and now, maybe I can enjoy a date once in awhile without backing out. my 'ahhh' moment came without me realizing it and , stayed without me trying to push it away. Finally!!
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I am getting ready for the end of this month little trip and then again in October. You know, life is unreal when you allow it to be!!
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