Saturday, July 20, 2013


Thinking, not thinking, pondering, day dreaming...

      Last night was nice. I just get myself so confused sometimes though. Went on a long ass bike ride to GOTL to enjoy the night with my friends that are at their house for the month. It was weird, going with Billy, but it was fun!!! When I get thinking, I just seem to say 'what the heck' . I am single (not by my choice) so why do I worry about some things. I really like Billy. A lot. I haven't brought him to family breakfasts yet, or do I really even talk about him much. But I showed my sis and niece a picture of him yesterday. Then around 5 my ex, my son and my grandson were over  and who pulls into the driveway with his big ass Harley? Billy. So now my ex, and my son and grandson have met him... awkward! So, he wanted to know if I wanted to go for a ride, so my guys left and we sat and talked for awhile and then I texted my friend Linda and we headed up there!! OH MY GOSH he is so much fun!!! And everyone loved him, a few knew him, and we went and had dinner with everyone and played games at the arcade and after the evening with friends was over, we headed to the beach! oh man... my heart is pounding as I type. What a night!! But, I can't go through with it , just yet. At the beach I kept telling myself it was alright to feel these feelings, but my head and my heart just wont let it happen! I have so much distrust for men that I can't! I am lucky I have who I do in my life, but I just can't have a relationship. Lucky for me, at this point, everyone understands. Last night we talked about Croatia. I said that I have always wanted to go to Ireland, but lately I seem to be obsessed with Croatia. We talked about going away together, just friends, but maybe after graduation a trip to Seattle. Odd place to talk about a trip to, but sounded fun!! I like him. I REALLY like him. I think I like him too much. He always buys me coffee when we have class together, he sits in front of me in all of our classes so we can kibitz, he is so truly nice to me. He asked me to go with him to Baltimore to meet his daughter. Um. No. No kids!! But now, I feel some guilt. I seem to want to spend more time with him than anyone else and its really, so not fair. I am going away next weekend with Paul, and I don't want to feel weird about it. Idk, I have to snap out of this. I cannot let  these feelings come over  me.

oh boy
Im thinking about ... is 4 too many?
I loved this car!
aunt Lillian and uncle al . This makes me cry. she looks so much like my dad. and she is 89 and he is 92. They got married when she was 15 because he was leaving for the war.... true love. I wish I had 'that'.
Love him

Trying to grab my foot!!

Anywho... its been a great week. I met a really great Christian gal in one of my classes. She is so nice, and it was nice to talk about the Lord with her. She has been clean from alcohol for 9 years, and tells her testimony freely to all of the drug addicts and alcoholics in our classes. 
I thought I would just add some pictures to the blog. Then bid you adieu ... Have a great weekend!!


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