Monday, August 27, 2012

~ Monday Song Of the Day 'Glass' ~

I listen to music all the time. Its my life, and so much of the music I love has meaning that steals my heart. All throughout the day I think 'oh I need to post this or that because...' , and I don't. Today I heard a couple of songs that have gotten me through the hardest times of my life. Martina McBride... oh man, she sings what my heart feels, and JoDee Messina, WOW that woman must have taken excerpts of my life when she sang "Let It Rain" with Tim. So, I've been up since 6 packing biscuits for shipping, getting ready to take samples to my sister's work, and compiling places I would like to take my biscuits and see if I can sell them there. 
        Whilst I was delivering biscuits this morning, this song came on the radio and I pulled into a parking lot and listened, and cried just a little, and prayed, thanking God that I don't feel like 'Glass' anymore. I can look at all the pictures I have on facebook with my "previous life", and be fine. For a long time I couldn't look without crying. Or desiring to  have it back. Or missing pathetically. But, my 'Glass' has turned out to be a little more refined over the past 2 years. I still have some pain in my heart, but I think God poured a good dose of Super Glue over it, and you could take a baseball bat to it and it would be fine. It'll be 2 years in 21 days that my world changed. I have been lied to, cheated on, and ... we'll leave it at that. BUT TODAY, I can get up in the morning and the first thing I DON'T THINK OF, is him. I can get past my California flash backs without hurting. I can watch my favorite shows ( Orange County Housewives   Beverly Hills Housewives, Flipping Out and the Million Dollar Listing Shows ) and fondly remember... but not get a stomach ache. I actually put my 'Love Fraud' book, under my mattress because I'm done being a 'victim' and I love being who I am today. Really truly love it. God could not have been better to me (well, He could give me some success with this business so I can really move it along, but that's neither here nor there as far as this blog is concerned) and more FAITHFUL to ME as I went down this scary ,  sad, empty part of my life. SO....
today, I am stronger,  happier and even starting to feel some success in my life. after this radio show I will be making an appt with a business attorney and the IRS to make sure I am doing it right, legal, and with the ability to not have to worry about ever being in trouble anywhere. With all of this, I give you "Glass" by Thompson Square

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